A Boy?

Got something resembling a cold this week. Sore throat, stuffy breathing and very tired. The loss of appetite and fatigue reminded me of first trimester.

But feeling better today and baby is kicking up a storm. You can actually see my belly move and a mug of tea resting on my belly can easily get kicked off. I wonder if baby's sudden energy has to do with me feeling better or Dave and I acknowledging for the first time that baby could actually be a boy. Hmmm.....

At the coast this weekend and having a craving for Coconut Bliss chocolate ice cream, Holy Kakow chocolate sauce (warmed) and some sort of marshmallow substance in the bowl. But this is all being denied to me because we're on the coast where the local Safeway had no idea what I was talking about when I called to inquire.

25 Weeks 1 Day

Wow - check out how much I've grown from four weeks ago!!

Prenatal today. Prenatal today without Midwife Kelly because she's moving on January 3rd. I had a feeling she wasn't going to be there for the birth and that's okay. I find what I'm most disappointed about, besides having a friend move away, is that we'll be missing the prenatal classes she was going to hold with us.

Dave and I haven't really talked about how we'll supplement the loss, but I feel we need to do something, and this something will probably happen on our own.

I've audited three childbirth classes and don't want to sit through another. And honestly, it would be even below Dave since he knows so much about childbirth already.

Didn't have much to catch up on with the ladies since four weeks ago. Things have been going great. My fatigue disappeared with the iron and my stress with the adrenal support.

I told them about my tooth staining because of pregnancy and we talked about how the world of dentistry is so far behind on the implications of mouth and pregnancy (except my dentist who totally gets it).

I mentioned my back tightening when I don't do yoga and that I've got an appointment with a new chiro next week - someone who can be called in for my birth if things get stuck.

We did have a great discussion about what I want during labor. This isn't a question that would normally be asked of most moms, but since I have the training they asked at what point do I think I want them to step in and help with pushing. We all agreed that it's so hard to know when to let a mom do her own thing and when to step up and become really involved with directions and such. As an apprentice I've struggled with wondering if I was abandoning mom by letting her be on her own or if those were my own abandonment issues I was projecting.

I want support. If I didn't want support I would have an unassisted birth. I mentioned how I already have a hard time telling what's going on down there and during pushing everything is going to be a mess, so having guided pushing with someone's fingers in my vagina will probably be really helpful for me.

I do want to give it a go on my own first, but I think it's going to take me a long time to figure out how to actually push, so why waste the precious energy for too long of a time. I am open to the help.

Since we were on the subject I mentioned that instead of sutures if I tear, I want to use Nori. Luckily Lori has experience with that, so that will be great. I saved the rest of my labor requests for another time.

Mama and baby vitals:

Weight: 139.2 (27 pound weight gain)

pH: 7.0

BP: 107/74

Pulse: 90

Position: Baby proved once again that baby doesn't like to be palpated. Both midwives had to have a feel before they decided that maybe baby was oblique (diagonal) and baby was probably head down and on the right.

FHT: Again, it took two midwives to find the heart rate with the fetascope. By this time baby was all excited and riled up, so the heart rate was 150's-160's.

Fundal Height: 27 (I think. I know it was more than my weeks.)

WooooW

Two really great things happened yesterday (before and after the strange work situation) that have made me feel so light and happy this morning.

The first is that I had an energy session with Donna (of the Bob and Donna team). We worked on clearing the congestion between my liver and spleen that may be a reason for my consistent waking up in the middle of the night.

When I got home from the session Friends Dan and Stacy sent me a pregnancy pillow in the mail. Now, I always thought these were a bit decadent and that my body pillow (Joey the Brain) was just fine. Two days ago while working with my postpartum family, she had a pregnancy pillow that she was using for breastfeeding and I thought that seemed like a nice thing to have.

My sleep was amazing last night. Now I think it's from the energy work first and the pillow supported those changes. I was able to sleep on my right side and actually have my arm around Dave, something that was too uncomfortable before. Then I was able to, without fussing and rearranging, move to my left side. But the biggest change of all is that I was then able to sleep on my back comfortably for many hours, without having to readjust everything under my knees.

Even better than all that great sleep I got (10-6 with just 1 bathroom break) is that I wanted to stay in bed after I woke up and just lay there all snuggled and feeling safe. Since the beginning of pregnancy I haven't been able to just lay in bed and hang out. It's like I need a change of state or something, which explains why I have to fall asleep on the couch. This morning I laid there for 30 minutes, just hanging out between sleep rhythms.

I could see where if I was a little taller, the pillow wouldn't work as well - but it really is an amazing tool to have and I plan on buying this for all my newly pregnant friends. Love it.

And so this morning I've woken up feeling really light and happy. The work situation is something that isn't even bothering my right now. I'm going to ignore her email and I feel good about that decision.

As friend Stacy said to me: "The email is a parting shot of negativity from a negative place. I think the vibe there is, "Well, she thinks she's too good for us, so fuck her."

Strangely, about an hour after I wrote the last blog post I got a call from a midwife there. Apparently a midwife was recently fired out of the blue and her friend, the one calling me, wanted to know if she could give her my number because, "she doesn't have the strength that you have nor the ability to see the big picture and she's upset by all this. I think it would help her to hear how you were able to be a positive part of a bad experience there."

Isn't life funny. As Trisha would say, "Wooow. I mean, right? Woooow."

Strange

So - Having finished my final shifts at the birth center and declaring today that I felt really free from that place, I got an email from my supervisor. She said I:

~ Left blood on a bottle of lotion (that's bad)

~ Didn't do the dishes (for some reason I thought doulas didn't have to clean up after midwives)

~ Left wet laundry in the washer (nope, that didn't happen for sure)

~ Put the portable toilet away in the wrong place (okay)

The second paragraph of the email was in reference to me trying to find a replacement on Tuesday night for my second room cleaning in a row. The apprentice who called me in asked me if I was able to come in for the room clean (she knows that the cleaning is hard on my body) and I told her I was going to look for someone else. When I called her back to tell her it was me who would be cleaning she said that the director "flipped out" b/c I was trying to find a replacement. She and I rolled our eyes at her ignorance as to how common it is for us doulas to try to find replacements.

In the email I was told that my shifts are my responsibility and that I must to do the work even if I "don't feel like it." That pisses me off because I made it clear why I had to go on early maternity leave and room cleaning was number two on my list.

For the first time ever in my life I feel like not responding to this email (which didn't ask for a response). I'm always one to respond and communicate - which is partly ego driven and partly a need to be open with feelings.

I also feel like burning that bridge - something I've never done in my professional relationships. Throughout my careers I've always kept ties and this has always been important to me. But this time I want to never see or speak or hear another word from them.

And here's the strange part: After reading through the email from the birth center (which should have been a conversation, but my supervisor is young, lacks communication skills and self-confidence) I open a facebook email.

This email is from a higher up smart guy I used to work with at the last consulting firm I was at. He was wondering if I would be interested in joining an independent team he is putting together for a local company - I'd be the project manager, it would go through March and possibly longer if I wanted it to and they are apparently a fun group who work from home.

I'm flattered, to say the least. I took my last management job as a way out of the company I worked at prior where I was too involved and unable to discover what I really needed to be doing in life. So I took this consulting job and coasted through it. I managed my projects well, but on my own personal scale I would say I worked at half level. So it's really nice to be invited to join a team as an independent contractor.

And this has been my dilemma that has been building up inside of me for a few months now. I love the clients and the actual hands on work I do with the birth center families. I could care less about my skills at folding sheets, washing dishes and making beds (apparently I'm not good at any of those things).

I didn't start out the job feeling this way, but lately I've been feeling like it's way below me. Not the actual client part, but the rest of the crap I have to do. And it's because I'm not able to contribute there and make changes - I'm not a part of anything there, I just show up. And that is not in my nature. I've never been respected there and I don't respect the place in return.

So here I am being given unprofessional feedback about a crappy $12/hour job while in the same instant I'm being offered the opportunity to lead a team for $50 - $100/hour and I can't help but think the birth center can just go screw themselves.

I feel snotty when I think about it this way b/c I signed up to fold sheets, roll towels and make beds, in addition to caring for new families and babies.

And that's all I have to say right now...

Why Doesn't Spell Check Know the Word Doula

Last week of work a the birth center and so far I've been called out for every shift, which rarely happens. On Monday I worked with a sweet mom who lost too much blood. That meant that she fainted on me twice while trying to stand. The first time I had to leap to catch her (awesome while 6 months pregnant) and the second time I was prepared. I also ended up almost falling into the bathtub twice while trying to clean it.

During the day I walked into the midwife's kitchen and into several midwives talking about other midwives. I got to be reminded why I don't like it there and how they can't imagine doing anything differently than the way they did it. So nice to be leaving.

The great thing that came out of the long and tiring shift was that the mom who lost too much blood hired me on as her private postpartum doula. I love going into people's homes and helping with their new family.

They are from Taiwan and I'm getting to learn all sorts of interesting postpartum cultural traditions. For example, eating pig liver, feet and parts of the face for 30 days is considered optimal recovery food and not taking a bath during that time is vital to a new mom's health.

So yesterday I worked with that family at their home all day, then got called into the birth center as soon as I got home to my family. This was a transport situation, which means just a room clean, little blood and pretty easy. I still didn't want to do it, tried finding a replacement, couldn't, and went in to do the work.

On call tonight and hoping I can stay in my bed all night and not go into work.

After work on Monday my back was so tight. I think I've mentioned before how, when I don't go to yoga for a few days, my low back gets so tight it's almost painful. Well that happened after a long day at work and cleaning so I asked Dave to rub me.

Thinking I was being clever, I made a nest of pillows on the bed to try and lay on my belly. I didn't have any pressure on my abdomen and it felt comfy. After 15 minutes I suddenly got really nauseous, my mood turned foul and I was so uncomfortable everywhere. I'm guessing that had to do with laying face down, which I won't ever do again. Promise.

Even the next morning at yoga class I felt nauseous and was not able to enjoy myself. And remember that growth spurt I had last week? Well, getting in and out of lunges is a bit difficult now.

I really need to start swimming laps. I know I've been saying this for about 12 weeks now, but I have to start making it a priority. Realistically, after X-mas I can probably work it into my schedule once a week and I think that will help with the low back stretching. Usually, you use your abdomen muscles to really stretch the low back, but obviously I've got a little something in the way. So swimming seems like a good alternative.

And chiro appointments. There is a chiro that we used to bring into births when baby was a little stuck. I'd like to start a relationship with her now, to help my low back and make sure everything is lined up AND to have her on my list of people to call if needed during the birth. I'll just be paying for this out of pocket, so I'm dragging a little.

Baby has been hanging out in my uterus like it's a hammock. Very cute. It feels like baby has gotten much bigger and is starting to take up more uterine space. I also have the sense that baby, at least at this time, doesn't like to be palpated. So I haven't been feeling the borders of my uterus or trying to guess the position of baby. Just gentle massage every night.

4 am

Good morning 4 am. While sleeping downstairs I hardly know you, but upstairs you like to call me awake. Why is that? I'd love to meet 7 am, she seems like a lovely time to wake up.

To Do List

(...with a nod to Kelly T...)

What Has Been Done:

• Rug purchased for baby space
• Rug pad purchased so dogs will actually lay on rug
• Cedar chest moved to Dave's poetry office
• Filing cabinet moved from poetry office to garage
• Dresser unpacked and filled with freshly washed baby clothes
• Crib put together
• Outlet installed to plug in light in baby space
• Electrician called to check out wonky wiring upstairs
• Bedroom crawl space checked for black mold (slight moisture, nothing too concerning)
• Holiday cards
• Baby shower invites
• Cradle put together

What Needs to Be Done (short-term):

• Filing cabinet in garage filled
• Shelves hung in Dave's poetry office so we can put bookshelf in storage
• Shelf hung above dresser
• Shelf hung in laundry room
• Last week of work at birth center
• Finding a place to throw away all the packaging garbage

A Little Bit of Everything

Baby likes belly massage. Baby moved right to my touch again last night. It's such a special feeling, like when a dolphin comes to the edge of a pool and wants to be your friend.

Davey is feeling better. His turnaround was yesterday and as long as he rests this entire weekend, I think he'll be fine.

I had a belly growth spurt that coincided with a huge eating binge a few days ago. Sometime over the afternoon on Wednesday last week my belly got wider. On Thursday I was feeling the weight increase on the top of my pubic bone. The body is so amazing.

Around this time is when a lot of pregnant women start to notice bleeding and inflamed gums from hormonal changes. I haven't had anything like that, but what I have noticed is that my teeth now stain more easily. After drinking a simple cup of tea I'll have stain around my gum line that sometimes I can't brush off. I feel like it's from my iron supplements, but it's odd that it didn't happen when I was taking iron during the miscarriage. I am going to the dentist next week, so we'll see what he says.

Did I mention my mom got us a crib and matching dresser? Having matching furniture for the baby is really important to her. I remember how much she loved my matching dresser, end tables and bed when I was young. She and I had to leave that furniture behind when we left my father (we could only take what we could pack in the car) and I think that's why it's vitally necessary to her that baby have this stuff.

The dresser is awesome and will make a nice changing station upstairs. The crib is beautiful, but a little too showy for me. I wanted something simple and natural, but those pieces were about $200 more than the "antique cherry with curved corners" set.

I was definitely on the fence when it came to a crib. Was I really going to use it or would it be laundry storage? In the end I decided to go for it because I wanted a place where it was safe for me to put baby down for a nap, away from edges and Maji's tongue and every baby that sleeps in their crib seems to really like their crib. It's their space and when I'm babysitting them they often ask for it.

Next week is my last week at the birth center and I'm on call 60 hours. Hoping I don't get called in at all, but if I have to be, hoping it's during the day.

The week after that I start a new babysitting job with a new practice baby. I'm starting to feel stress about that because I won't be able to wear the baby (belly too big) and last I checked with the mom, baby was only sleeping by wearing baby down. I could try putting baby on my back if they have the right carrier. Walking is always an option for babies who need motion to fall asleep, but it's December and this is Portland, so it's probably going to be rainy and unhappy outside.

Baby, Baby Daddy

As part of our childbirth education we're reading The Birth Partner out loud to each other. Last night in bed, as Dave was reading, I was massaging my belly in slow circles with oil. I felt the effects throughout my body and it was nice.

Then I felt baby move to the front of my uterus, as close to my hands as possible. I could feel almost the entire outline of baby's body and feel him or her pushing toward my touch.

I don't think I can adequately describe how this makes me feel. It was the first time I was able to feel a conscious decision from the baby to be near me. Baby wanted to feel my touch and be close to my energy. So far, this has been the most amazing part of pregnancy. I'm so honored to be carrying this spirit to our world.

In other news, Dave is sick with a lung/chest virus, which we're hoping doesn't turn into pneumonia. It's been two years exactly that Dave last had pneumonia in both his lungs. Lungs hold grief and this is also the time that Azu-zu would have been born. Coincidentally, Dave has been having intense father dreams, so I believe the two are related.

Two years ago his pneumonia began the same way this illness has - as something in the chest. This year around his birthday (11/18) he got really depressed about turning 35 and even before that had some anger around work and life and scheduled obligations. This moved him into a serious funk and he went to see Bob and Donna, some great healers we work with. They put him on homeopathics and did some energy work, and that is probably what has stirred this up in his lungs.

Currently, Dave is on the Vitamin A protocol, drinking lemon, ginger and cayenne tea and taking it easy (which is really hard for Dave to do). This morning I've got him steaming his lungs with pine, lemon and eucalyptus and keeping his kidneys warm.

Because we're handling this early, and Dave has great energy and feels relatively good, I think we can head off the pneumonia (it's part of his constitution).

Send healthy lung thoughts please.

Circles

Doesn't that rug just scream baby movement?

Maternity Leave

Put in my notice at the birth center yesterday. Unfortunately it wasn't as liberating as I hoped. They first asked if I could stay on until they hire and train someone. Since that averages 3 months, I said no. Then they wondered if maybe I could work through end of January for the day shifts.

I reiterated my reasons why it was time for me to be done with the work and they said they'll have problems filling the schedule. So, reluctantly I agreed that after this "2 week notice" if they get rid of all my overnights, I'll work with them on seeing when I could fill in the gaps in the schedule.

What I am trying to remember is that by leaving the birth center I'm opening myself up to greater work possibilities and releasing my stress around that job - even if it means I'm still scheduled for the time being.

Dave

Relaxin and Such

Starting to recognize my hips loosening up and things moving more fluidly. Hmm, maybe fluidly is too positive of a word because eventually it's going to feel wonky and unstable in my hips and already feels like too much motion.

It's odd, it's not like in yoga I can suddenly stretch in ways that I never could before. It's more like a sensation that the way I can move my hips is now different.

Last night and this morning baby was moving so much. And I would know since I've been awake since 3 am. The movements felt near my cervix and almost electric. After awhile I thought I had a stomach ache only to realize it was just active baby. I love feeling baby move. It really makes me so happy.

Today I'm having a whiny day. I want Dave's company, a fire and to sit on the couch all day. I've become attached to Dave lately and am gearing up to miss him while Satchel and I visit a friend in Washington for three days. Anyway, today I'm not getting any of it. Going to babysit instead a precocious 5-year old (which I learned Maji is much like a toddler) while her parents become enlightened.

This morning I realized that all Dave and I talk about is planning for the coming months. I can't even remember what we used to talk about. And then when we have the baby all we'll ever talk about is the baby. I'm getting tired of it and if I'm getting tired of planning I can only imagine how much talking and thinking about it I'm actually doing. Going away for three days should help that situation.

The writing studio has really consumed us lately. Struggling with the unknowing of our permanence in this house and the unknown of an increased monthly budget cost and with me making no money for awhile. Can this really be feasible? Ohhh how we want it to work out.

Palpation

Not only did I feel baby somersault yesterday, but Dave and I were also able to feel baby's head and leg last night. So tiny in there. I don't have a word to describe how I feel about this. It's a cross between excitement about meeting someone you've always wanted to meet, pure bliss and complete anticipation.

20 Weeks and 5 Days

I love my midwives. All of them. They are so great and lovely. What a blessing.

Prenatal recap:

~ Baby is as big as a $5.00 loaf of artisan bread. That's so adorable.

~ I've been feeling way tired lately and know that anemia has been setting in. They gave me the green light to start taking iron (for some reason I thought you weren't supposed to take it before 28 weeks).

When I got home I cracked open a bottle of Floradix and it tasted like nectar from heaven.

Floradix is great because if your body doesn't need iron, it tastes like crap. That was my experience when I tried it last year. When I started taking it during my miscarriage it tasted good, like something I needed. But this time I got that overall body tingling and started to cry thinking about how wonderful the taste is. So obviously it's a good choice for me right now.

~ Mentioned that I started taking Adaptocrine for adrenal support. That night with the horrible family at the birth center totally drained me of everything I had and I haven't been able to recover.

~ I've had a tiny, external hemorrhoid since I got pregnant that I didn't much care about until it started getting bigger recently. I've been treating it with witch hazel (topically and homepathically), rutin and oatstraw, but I've only been able to reduce it down to it's original size.

Kim mentioned that may be something I have to just start to love and accept, but then remembered that chiro or acupuncture care can also help. Since I've been thinking about going to a chiro on a regular basis around 30 weeks, this will work out great.

My fear with the hemorrhoid situation is that it will A) get worse as I keep growing and B) get really really bad when I'm pushing baby out. It's not something I really want to deal with postpartum.

~ My BP was pretty much the same as last time: 110/72. Pulse 80. Uterus measuring right at umbilicus. Heart tones heard with fetascope - I think 130's - 140's. And I weigh 130 pounds even. Which means I've gained 18 pounds.

Time Time

I've been feeling really overwhelmed really easily lately and I just realized it's because I'm pregnant, not because I'm going crazy.

Time has been on my mind a lot. I'm a planner, like to think ahead and I'm not a last minute girl. November feels like a month off (though not really) for me and then I'll be super busy again working with a new practice baby (he's 5 months old). That leaves January and February fully available for preparing for the baby since I want to have March free to sit around, read and tie up loose nesting ends.

It would probably help to make lists of things I want to get done. That's a start. But really the day to day things that come up become a little anxiety producing and I'm hoping this phase doesn't last too long.

Writing Studio

Ok, I'm coming around to the idea of trying to afford a writing studio for Dave. It's something he's always wanted and I know it's something he needs.

My main concern is actually how long we will really be in this house and would building something like that be worth taking out a line of credit on the house and financing the deal? I'm guessing we would need to be here at least 3 more years.

The idea excites me. Dave can have his own private space, I could move my office into his bright, sunshine current office and we could have the guest room stay the same but with a writing space for Dave in the house. That leaves the entire upstairs as sleeping space for baby and us. The guest bedroom can also function as a second play area.

Anyway, we're having a contractor come out hopefully this week and give an estimate. This feels like a huge deal.

Work Not So Fun

I'm getting tired of working at the birth center. At this point it's count down until maternity leave, which is whenever I decide I guess.

I've scheduled myself only one, sometimes two, night shifts a week and one or two day shifts, but I only seem to get called in for the night shifts. Really! I haven't worked a day shift in weeks. But every week I find myself working one or two overnights.

And the state insurance, which covers midwives 100%, has changed their policy on birth centers. Where they used to cover a two night stay, they now require that, if mom and baby are stable, they must be discharged within four hours after the birth.

I can't even begin to tell you how stupid this is and I am continuously wondering why families aren't just staying home. I can't imagine packing up and getting in a car four hours after a baby came out of my vagina.

And the hard thing about this for me as a doula is that means I'm discharging families in the middle of the night. This then means that I spend the next four hours cleaning a room. Cleaning up bloody messes is not fun at 2 am, not to mention the fact that I'm a lot freaked out being alone in an old Victorian home that is haunted. This is a lot of work.

As if this wasn't yucky and crappy enough, last week I worked with a dad who I felt unsafe with. It was overnight, his domestic abuse issues came out during the birth and continued throughout his overnight stay, by him refusing to leave the birth center, refusing my presence in the room and refusing my help with mom who was having breastfeeding issues.

By morning, after I caught them trying to sneak out of the birth center without a car seat, and he told me I was trying to trick him and he didn't like my attitude, I called in another doula because I felt unsafe. She was going to bring her husband as well.

In the end, he tricked me and ran out with his baby and wife and no car seat. After my initial shock I was glad I didn't catch him, because what would have happened? I already made him mad and I was afraid of him.

What amazed me was how quickly during my shift I changed my behavior so I didn't make him mad. I've never been in a situation like that before and for the first time got a taste of what these poor women go through, desperately trying to always keep their partner happy and calm.

At one point in the morning, before the car seat incident, he went outside to go to his car. The front gate was locked and I was nervous to meet him in the courtyard and unlock the gate in case he was mad about the delay. I didn't want to be in an enclosed space with him. So I waited until he came into the kitchen to get me and I pretended I hadn't noticed him leave. He wasn't mad, made a weird comment, and followed me out the door.

Creeps me out just thinking about that night. And that night has left a sour mark on my perception of work and I just don't want to do it anymore. And so I'm off to work tonight.

Getting the House Ready

Every time I make a big baby move, like register or my mom buys us something I get a little anxiety that I'm moving too fast, and what if things don't work out. I'm happy to say that each time this happens it is less than the last time.

My mom called today to say she was placing the order for a crib and dresser. After my initial excitement, I got worried. I mean a crib and dresser is the real thing. It's furniture that sits out in the bedroom and waits for baby. And I'm only 20 weeks.

But the feeling went away and that was nice.

Dave has been feeling a little overwhelmed with the amount of stuff that is about to enter our space. We've spent our lives together trying not to accumulate and now we're in the biggest accumulation period we've ever been a part of - and he hasn't even looked at the registry yet.

I understand how he feels. Totally. And I understand his feelings of crowdedness when he thinks about having to give up his second office upstairs for the baby space. Though it's funny to joke that Dave has a poetry and a writing office, it really is where he goes to work on his creative stuff, away from the work pressure in his downstairs office.

Dave wants to build a writing cabin in the yard. That's not actually a possibility. So, I've drawn up a plan to move some furniture out of his second office to make room for the cedar chest, I bid on an awesome 7x10 area rug for the middle of the bedroom, and we'll make that space the baby space.

Really, it makes better sense anyway. The middle space of our bedroom is essentially used as a hallway now, but is big enough for a crib, dresser and play area. Plus it's closer to our bed - not that baby will be sleeping in the crib at night for awhile.

So I'm warming the space up. I plan to hang a thick blanket on the wall behind the crib to keep the draft out, the rug will be a nice add and I can find some holiday lights to invite in a nice glow. A perfect baby space! Yay me.

Not Woman at My Birth

In need of a friend to be in charge of the pups and take pictures during the birth, I asked Kelly, who said yes and is super excited.

A perfect fit really, Dave has known that Kelly would be at the birth even when I was pregnant with Azu-zu. I could never figure out how that would happen since she is grossed out by babies and pregnancy and never wants kids. But when it comes to my baby and pregnancy, she's totally into it.

It's a perfect fit really. Satchel, who calls her Not Woman, loves her and Maji and Kelly had past lives together, so it works perfectly. She's an artist and that frees up her schedule quite a bit and she can take pictures. She can even do a load of dishes here and there.

Yeah - so excited to have Kelly there. Plus, as she said, it gives her something to look forward to as she waits for her Lyme Disease to get out of her body.