I've scheduled myself only one, sometimes two, night shifts a week and one or two day shifts, but I only seem to get called in for the night shifts. Really! I haven't worked a day shift in weeks. But every week I find myself working one or two overnights.
And the state insurance, which covers midwives 100%, has changed their policy on birth centers. Where they used to cover a two night stay, they now require that, if mom and baby are stable, they must be discharged within four hours after the birth.
I can't even begin to tell you how stupid this is and I am continuously wondering why families aren't just staying home. I can't imagine packing up and getting in a car four hours after a baby came out of my vagina.
And the hard thing about this for me as a doula is that means I'm discharging families in the middle of the night. This then means that I spend the next four hours cleaning a room. Cleaning up bloody messes is not fun at 2 am, not to mention the fact that I'm a lot freaked out being alone in an old Victorian home that is haunted. This is a lot of work.
As if this wasn't yucky and crappy enough, last week I worked with a dad who I felt unsafe with. It was overnight, his domestic abuse issues came out during the birth and continued throughout his overnight stay, by him refusing to leave the birth center, refusing my presence in the room and refusing my help with mom who was having breastfeeding issues.
By morning, after I caught them trying to sneak out of the birth center without a car seat, and he told me I was trying to trick him and he didn't like my attitude, I called in another doula because I felt unsafe. She was going to bring her husband as well.
In the end, he tricked me and ran out with his baby and wife and no car seat. After my initial shock I was glad I didn't catch him, because what would have happened? I already made him mad and I was afraid of him.
What amazed me was how quickly during my shift I changed my behavior so I didn't make him mad. I've never been in a situation like that before and for the first time got a taste of what these poor women go through, desperately trying to always keep their partner happy and calm.
At one point in the morning, before the car seat incident, he went outside to go to his car. The front gate was locked and I was nervous to meet him in the courtyard and unlock the gate in case he was mad about the delay. I didn't want to be in an enclosed space with him. So I waited until he came into the kitchen to get me and I pretended I hadn't noticed him leave. He wasn't mad, made a weird comment, and followed me out the door.
Creeps me out just thinking about that night. And that night has left a sour mark on my perception of work and I just don't want to do it anymore. And so I'm off to work tonight.
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