Making a Baby is Hard Work

The first trimester leaves most women tired and sick. The second trimester is a time of new body aches and pains and in the third trimester women can just feel the baby sucking every vital nutrient from their bones.

It's my 7th week and I've become more tired as each day passes. If I worked a regular office job, I would be able to do my work and nothing more. Luckily, I don't have that kind of life and I feel I'm able to get other things done as well.

I've noticed that I'm also loosing interest in food like last time. When I think about eating a PB&J or last night's chicken, it just has no appeal. But I'm trying real hard to not get sucked into the nausea cycle, so I'm forcing myself to eat.

Thanks to all the studying I've done on twin pregnancies, the literature has pounded it into my head that these women need to force themselves to eat in order to carry to term. While I don't feel that I'm having twins, that message has stuck with me and I'm trying to oblige.

I've had several instances of feeling pukey, enough where I pull out a cup, bag or towel from wherever I am just in case it happens fast. I haven't puked yet. Even though sometimes I wish I could puke because I think it would make me feel better, I know that would waste precious nutrients and calories that I need to keep inside me.

And the best news of all is that I've had no brain fog like last time. For all my tiredness and occasional nausea, I can push through and study or do laundry. Yeah for me.

6 Weeks Pregnant and Feeling Great!!!!!!

Soooooo......................I'm pregnant!!!

I knew that I was pregnant because I felt implantation cramps about a week after conception. And then the food dreams started rolling in. I only ever used to dream about food like this when I pregnant before.

The best dream was when I opened the oven and discovered a lasagna in there. "I have a lasagna in the over!" Lasagna is a good symbol. Hearty, strong and filling.

Dave also had a dream about my pregnancy and woke up knowing as well.

The strongest early pregnancy sign was that I had a triphasic temperature shift. I started taking my temperature as part of pregnancy planning and after conception my temperature rose in two shifts, which can only mean that your pregnant.

And of course we can't forget that Ladyfinger, my spirit chicken, started laying eggs again. A sure sign of pregnancy for me.

I took a test on July 16th before I drove out to Joseph to pick Dave up. He forgot that I was going to take the test and when he asked how my temperature was this morning and I told him I was pregnant he had a 7 second inhale. It was great.

The first time I told him I was pregnant I felt his body respond and this time I got to hear his body respond. A pretty neat difference.

I remember already starting to have food aversions a few days after my first pregnancy test. By the 5th week I was nauseous, extremely fatigued and eating a lot of cream cheese.

This time around I feel great. I'm eating everything to the exclusion of nothing, rarely tired and never nauseous. Why you ask?

Well, this is a different pregnancy and every pregnancy is different. I'm consistently practicing yoga and that makes a huge difference in my body and spirit when I'm not pregnant so I could only imagine how great it is for me during pregnancy.

I'm also never ever ever letting myself get hungry. As I've mentioned in other posts, it's a vicious cycle, you get hungry, you get nauseous, you can't eat. So this time I eat every few hours, even when I feel stuffed, and amazingly I never have trouble eating when I'm not hungry.

I've been wondering if I was so sick last time because something was wrong with the pregnancy from the start. And that just doesn't resonate with me at all. Or at least I don't want it to. My friend Stacy said that when her friend was pregnant again after a miscarriage that it just felt differently. And I have to agree that I feel different. I'm very grounded and present and sure of my role in this pregnancy.

So that's been interesting.

I'll be posting more belly pictures as the weeks go on. And yes, I am wearing pants and a long sleeve in the middle of July because it's been a strange summer here in Portland and I took that picture last week before the temps rose.

New Cute Things I Discovered About Joseph, Oregon

• In the town of Joseph lives 1 Buddhist monk who has built a monastery. There she holds weekly meditation and Dharma talks.
• One time a cougar was killing lots of cattle so the town of Joseph gave permission to everyone to shoot the cougar on any land. Well, the cougar was shot on the monk's land and she took the dead cougar and held a Buddhist death ceremony in the center of town. The ranchers were not happy.
• Wild sweet sage grows everywhere in the summer.
• Skinny dipping is welcomed on the local side of the lake, away from the tourists.
• The town isn't as dog-friendly as I would have liked (this is not cute).
• Tourists come in hordes to gaze at the mountains from their bus windows and visit Chief Joseph's grave site during the sunny months.
• You can set up camp on any forested land in the town of Joseph.
• The photographer to the Butthole Surfers lives part-time there. Did you even know they were still around let alone have their own photographer?
• The county is paid by the railroad company to park train cars throughout the county. Some locals are upset by this. Dave and I think it adds to the west lore.
• Every home in Joseph has a view from their backyard similar to the photo above. Isn't that freaking amazing???
• AND there are lots of people who don't even own keys to their homes.

Eggs

Ladyfinger, who hasn't laid an egg since the miscarriage, has started laying again. Since she is my spirit chicken, this can only mean one thing.....

Is It Just About The Driving?

Sometimes, like when I'm sitting in highway traffic at 2:30 in the afternoon, I wonder why the hell I live in a city. I mean, I don't use the city at all. I rarely leave my neighborhood and when I do, I usually hate it because I'm in a car in traffic.

When I do leave my house it's to 1) go to yoga 2) go grocery shopping 3) go to work 4) go for tea - all of which are in walking distance except work, which is in biking distance. There are times, like today, where I wanted to go to Trader Joe's instead of New Seasons because Trader Joe's makes amazing humus. It's even worth me driving for, but not sitting in traffic, in the heat. And that is when I start pining for Joseph.

Ahh Joseph, where I may have to drive 90 minutes one way to go grocery shopping, but I won't sit in a second of traffic.

But to be balanced, just this morning I said to myself how grateful I was for living in Portland because Portland is so full of people that I can connect with really easily.

I've become a part of a midwifery study group with two other ladies where every other week we study esoteric healing midwifery stuff and the other week practical midwifery stuff but all from a slow, organic, intuitive path.

This has been the study group I've been looking for and the direction I want to go - shamanic midwifery with practical skills.

And so, you can't really find that in many places other than Portland.

But I'm still tired and don't like driving.

Dave At Writing Camp

Dave has been at writing camp all week. He won a fellowship with Fishtrap in eastern Oregon. Not only is it all expenses paid, but he gets to meet his only living literary hero - Gary Snyder.

In his absence I've set an ambitious self-study midwifery course for the next few weeks, read a little, and organized the hall closet, panic room (large closet) and my own clothes closet, had Michael over to watch movies, Kelly over to hang out, and Michelle over for dinner. Dave put me in charge of watering the garden and I'm watering Molly's garden as well while she is away.

On Friday me and the pups are driving out to Joseph, Oregon (6 hours away) to go backpacking - something I have never done by myself. On Saturday we'll meet Dave for dinner, see Gary Snyder read and then I'll hike back to my campsite with the dogs while he continues with the remainder of his workshops until Sunday morning. Then we get to drive home together.

Dave has been having fun, I've been having fun, the dogs feel half the love and we are all excited to head back out to eastern Oregon.

Moons on my arm

Everyone asks when I'm going to finish my tattoo. Today I realized that maybe it isn't actually finished. Perhaps I can add each child's birth chart moons to the Azu-zu foundation. A spiraling map of first to last pregnancy, each a different color with a ground of mine and Dave's.

Just a thought you know. I don't even want new tattoos, but the forever aspect of my children is a strong draw.

But that's a long time from now. You can't get a tattoo while nursing and since I'm hoping to let my children self-wean, most don't before 12 months. And I may not even be pregnant right now, so I have that to do first.

A New Era in Our Sofa Living Begins

The Heaven Couch has been with me since my first apartment at Penn State. In its college days The Heaven Couch was host to a lot of college stuff. Then it moved to an apartment that my roommate lived in and then it came back to me and became a Jarecki when Dave and I moved to Wisconsin.

In Wisconsin it moved to three apartments in as many years and was hauled in and out of a second floor window, twice.

In Portland, The Heaven Couch donned it's first slip cover and began a new life in a new home. It comforted me through my mystical health crisis and Dave's pneumonia. Through my pregnancy and miscarriage it held my nausea and then grief.

It is for that reason, that we put The Heaven Couch on Craig's List. Even after removing the slip cover I still wasn't able to be with the couch like I used to be. And so we posted this ad:

It's the end of an era for our Heaven Couch.

This light colored down couch is looking for a good home to spend its remaining days. Given to me by my college roommate who took it from her parents', it's been living in smoke-free households all its life. There are some cat scratches from when the parents owned the sofa and our dog has been using it as a second bed for the last few years.

The covers zipper off and can be washed. The middle leg is splinted with a knife and duck tape, and the underside of the couch is ripped. Other than that it is a very comfy couch that is looking for a good home. And we'll give it to you free if you promise to love it.

A few hours later a tattooed boy came by in his minivan to take The Heaven Couch away. And in it's place we got a blue suede, kidney-shaped couch. Satchel was heard saying, "you complete me" to the couch.