This is a more manageable method than what I've been using for the past 5 weeks - a hard tube that I slipped between her mouth and my nipple that is attached to a bottle.
Prior to that I feed her with a syringe between my nipple and the corner of her mouth.
I hate this.
And I love this.
If I didn't spend 10-20 hours a week seeking donor milk, then picking up the milk, I would have so much more time to spend with Lazadae. If I didn't spend this time seeking I would have no idea about the generosity of people in this world.
A woman drove from Tacoma with the express purpose of delivering me 100 ounces of milk. Then she pumped so I could have fresh milk to give my daughter.
Another woman offered to nurse Lazadae.
People are amazing.
My situation breaks my heart.
As some of my feelings begin to sort themselves out, I'm beginning to wonder if my miscarriage, and how that all went down, plays a role. I never had time to recover my body. And now my body doesn't work. At least it worked to make Lazadae.
I'm trying to think of myself as a breastfeeding mother. Lazadae is such a big help with this - she always knows my breast will give her milk, no matter how it's delivered behind the scenes.
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